The headaches would not go away, and because I was to undergo a surgical procedure on Monday, I could not take my usual pain meds for a whole week. Plus, my eyes were recovering from cataract surgery, and my vision changed from day to day. But it was not just this past week, but the little hits came for over four weeks as I prepared to preach last Sunday evening.

Our Pastor would be on vacation, so the morning service would be conducted by a pastor/college professor member of the congregation. As I prayed for direction early on, I was lead to read the prophet Habakkuk, and selected the verses (Chap. 1:2-4) that I felt God wanted me to preach from. And Satan, that evil accuser went right to work on me.

First there were the two eye surgeries, routine in themselves (except when it’s your eyes they’re cutting on). Everything about the prep, the procedure, the eye drop regimen, and the recovery was a distraction which Satan used to keep me from preparing. Then our water heater failed, and we had a weekend of cold showers and the unexpected expense. Then my wife and I received our COVID booster and flu shots, to which my body responded with headaches, pain and nausea.

All the while Satan was whispering, “You’re not good enough, it’s been four years since you last preached. Are you sure you know what you’re doing? You won’t even be able to read the text when you’re in the pulpit.” His final assault however, came on Sunday morning. Pastor Stephen, who is a former pastor, former missionary, current college professor (Phd.), and member of our congregation, gave us an energetic deep dive into Ephesians chapter three that blew me away. I came away with new insights and greater understanding of those familiar verses. Much of what Pastor Stephen preached seemed to directly contradict what I planned to say later that same day. And Satan was right there saying, “See, I told you you’re not good enough! How can you hope to match that? You might as well go home, tear up your notes and come down with some ailment so you can skip out on this evening’ service.”

Rather than following Satan’s advice, I did what he hates; I prayed. After a lovely dinner prepared by my wife, I reviewed my notes, re-read the scriptures, and prayed that what came out of my mouth that evening would be exactly what God wanted His people to hear.

Right before the service, a couple of the elders prayed with me. The sanctuary was about half full as it usually is on Sunday evening. I stepped to the pulpit and said, “Welcome to worship at…and then I spoke the name of my former congregation instead of the current one to whom I was about to preach. There was some laughter, but because of my poor hearing, I did not know what I had said that was so funny. The lapel mic wasn’t working, so someone had to rush up to me and get it going. And all through the first hymn I was hoping the sound technician was muting me during the singing. I pretty much mumbled through a much loved hymn. My voice strengthened though, through the call to worship, the invocation, the greeting, “Grace to you and peace from God the Father and our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ”.

Now it was time to preach. I began by acknowledging how blown away I was by the morning sermon, and I pointed out that that sermon and mine were addressing two separate realities of the faith. Then this eighty-year-old high school graduate layman opened his mouth and the Holy Spirit took over. My voice was strong and clear, the scripture and my text were in perfect harmony, the little adjustments and additions that always occur came smoothly. Watching the faces of the congregation, I saw some smiles, some nodding of heads.

Only later did I realize I had not used my reading glasses, yet I was able to read the scripture and my notes clearly. I was overwhelmed with relief and gratitude. Satan was nowhere to be found. God is always and only good! God will always accomplish what He sets out to do. I know I’m not good enough, but God works out his purposes using jars of clay like me. SDG