The first and foremost rule in plumbing is that water runs downhill. The second rule is that whenever I attempt to “do” plumbing, I get wet, dirty, and frustrated. Plumbing is a craft which attempts to control the flow of water in a home so as to direct it to where we want it to be, whether to be used, or disposed of, in an orderly fashion. When everything is working as it should be, all the water is going where we want it to go. When it isn’t, we call that a “leak”.

Consider, if you will, the lowly toilet. Water is piped to a tank, where it remains until needed. The bowl, also full of water, receives that which we desire to have removed from our dwelling. The water in the tank, when quickly released, flushes away the stuff in the bowl, carrying it far, far away. All of this occurs within the “pipes”.

These lofty thoughts were in my mind yesterday as I attempted to repair two toilets in my brother-in-law’s house.

In the first bathroom, the tank which is supposed to hold the water until called upon, was instead allowing the water to leak onto the floor. I won’t go into detail, but suffice it to say the repairs involved one trip to the plumbing department at Menards, the replacement of the fill valve and connecting hose, an improvised modification to the flush lever, and getting my knees soaked while kneeling on said wet floor. Also got black slimy stuff on my hands.

The second case was a common, but little understood phenomenon, frequently referred to as “weird noises the toilet makes in the middle of the night”. The cognoscenti immediately recognize that this is caused by a deceptively simple device called the “flapper”. The flapper is supposed to keep the water in the tank until someone, desiring to remove the unmentionable from the dwelling, pushes the little lever to unleash the water from the tank. For some reason, the flapper sometimes fails to seal properly, and stealthily allows water to dribble out of the tank until the “fill valve” thinks it’s time to refill the tank. This usually happens about the time you’re just about to drift off into restful slumber, as was the case with my brother-in-law. A good plumber (or someone pretending to be one) always has a new flapper in his toolbox. I surgically removed the old flapper, installed the new one, and the mysterious nighttime water flow ceased.

So now you know why plumbers may be the most important tradespeople on earth. Because sometimes, not matter how wet, dirty, and frustrated one may get, the leak persists and a plumber has to be called in. I got lucky this time, but the next time might be different.

I believe that there is a Bible verse for every situation. The one that comes to mind whenever I try to do plumbing is:

Psalms 2:4 (ESV) He who sits in the heavens laughs; the Lord holds them in derision.